Tired of Technology: Things I Would (and Would NOT) Miss About Our Age of Wonders

P.S. [PRE-Script] I think I get the prize for longest Rockville 8 blog post title. Just sayin'.

So, the other day, I'm sitting down to write. I've got twenty minutes, and I am determined to get words on the page. This time I'm not going to get distracted by Facebook or email or the weather or looking up how to get squirrels out of the attic. I. Am. Going. To. WRITE.

And then my computer tells me this: Installing update 1 of 15. Do not power down or unplug your machine.

Noooooo! Even as I shake my fist and bellow to the heavens, I can't help but notice that the computer didn't say anything about not drop-kicking it into the bathtub. I give this option serious consideration, and then decide that it wouldn't be worth the broken toe that would inevitably result. I hang my head in defeat, and slink out of the room.

At times like these, I seriously feel like I'm done with technology. Like, I don't want to use anything more advanced than a hand-crank pencil sharpener and a - a - well, a pencil. In that noble (if impractical) spirit, here are three things I would NOT miss about technology:

1) Automatic Updates. After my recent fiasco, of course this is at the top of the list. And yes, I know that I can switch the options on my computer so it doesn't automatically update. But (heavy sigh) sadly enough, I never remember that until I get the dreaded message.

2) Advertisements. Of course, ever since Humankind developed communication, we've been trying to sell stuff to each other. As soon as Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, a hundred telemarketers set up shop. But seriously, the overkill of distracting ads calling attention to life's imperfections? "Pill to make you happy!" "Face cream to make you look younger!" "Magical elixir to melt the pounds away!" Yeah, thanks but no thanks, guys. I would not miss that!

3) IT Guys. In this day and age, we couldn't live without them, and I have certainly had my life saved by an assortment of IT personnel over the years. Having said that, I definitely would not miss: the eyeroll ("You clicked what?") , the shudder/sigh ("Ugh."), and the general feeling that I should be sitting in a corner with a dunce cap on instead of working at a computer (which, let's face it, sometimes I should!).

And yet...

And yet, we do live in an age of wonders. Regardless of how frustrating technology may sometimes be, it is a (nearly) indispensable part of modern life. Here are the three things I WOULD miss about technology:

1) Connectivity. Although I sometimes (read: "often") get behind on emails and social media, I love being connected to my family and friends. In the space of a minute, I can easily connect with most of the people that I love. And that's a very good thing!

2) Text messages. This is kind of a corollary of number one. I love the practicality and just plain fun of text messaging with my family. Stuff like coordinating grocery runs, making dinner plans, sharing good news. And during the day, my sister and I often text each other lines from our favorite shows (e.g. "Pink wine makes me slutty." - New Girl. "Lone wolves need other wolves." - Supernatural.) I would soooo miss that!

3) Digital Books and Music. I have a deep and abiding love of paper books. There is nothing to compare with the tactile experience of reading a book printed on paper. But I am addicted to the convenience of digital books. I love, love, love being able to carry around an entire library inside a device that weighs only a few ounces. Oh, and digital music? Come on! I remember carrying a Walkman and two cassette tapes in my purse. Now I have my whole music collection in my phone. In my phone, people! That kind of technology is life-enriching and just plain fun!

So, after careful consideration, I guess the pros of technology outweigh the cons. And although I may moan and complain, I can't deny that I enjoy the fun and convenience of this marvelous age in which we live.

Okay, technology, you win this round. But I'm keeping my eye on you. Don't try any funny stuff!