Word Up!

Happy New Year, friends!

Have you ever chosen a word for your year? A word to serve as touchstone, ballast, gateway to meditation or the like? A few years ago, some of my writer pals started the practice. That year, I coopted a word that a lot of folks selected – fearless. As in: be fearless in writing that shitty first draft. Be fearless in entering the Golden Heart. Be fearless in your queries and your pitches and the pursuit of your dreams. It helped me to frame my questions: am I doing xx or not doing xx out of fear? Knowing the answer to that didn’t always have an impact on my actions, but it sure provided a keen understanding of how I moved through the world.

Fearless was a good word.

The next year, my boss announced his retirement and the word I landed upon was change. I had a bead with the word hanging from my cell – word of the year as phone bling! When one friend caught sight of the bead, she asked me why I thought I needed to change. For me, for that span of time (in this case, I kept the word for a couple of years), my WOTY helped me remember simply that change is inevitable. Change happens. Change in and of itself is neither positive nor negative. It just is. But how I react to change? That’s on me.

Last fall, I laid out a few scenarios of what the months from September through December could look like as we said goodbye to the old boss and welcomed the new. I didn’t like the one where I used pizza and adult beverages as stress relief. That nightmare vision helped me make a change of my own – and to date, I’ve lost around sixty-five pounds.

Yay for change!

When this year rolled around, I knew it was time for a new word. I have a tendency to hibernate from the world. I think a little of that is okay – gotta recharge the old batteries, right? But the more I hibernate, the harder it is for me to snap out of stasis.

So after a lot of deliberation, I chose engaged. Engaged in writing. Engaged in healthy living. Engaged in the warp and weft of my life and the lives of my friends and family. Now I can ask myself: does xx keep me engaged with my dreams/goals/hopes/life? The answer may not always be yes. But the answer will always inform my next decision.

Engaged in self-awareness!

All words are on the table. I think the only rule is: choose a word that resonates with you. My mom picked kind, because she’d like to be kinder to herself this year. One writing friend opted for simplify. My runner-up word this year was dance.

So what’s your word of the year?

Live From Orlando

Yesterday, I arrived to a whirlwind of activities. First, I registered and received a canvas tote filled with swag. Next, I attended the "Readers for Life" Literacy Autographing. It was well attended by many authors in residence including Sherrilyn Kenyon, Nora Roberts, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Jayne Ann Krentz, Courtney Milan, and Roxanne St. Clair. Everyone met with their favorite authors and had a great time.

Today's Keynote Speaker for the luncheon, celebrating 30 years of the Romance Writers of America, was the witty and fabulous Nora Roberts. She told everyone that writing was hard but that was what made it special. We think she's special as well.

Nearly all of the Rockville 8 joined me at the Washington Romance Writers (WRW) reception at Todd English's Bluezoo. (We missed you, Nicole!) In addition, I also saw Golden Heart Finalist Jane Sevier. This evening, both Jane and our very own Keely Thrall are attending a reception for the Golden Heart Finalists. Good luck to both of them!

All I needed to know about writing I learned with Mary Kay

I would not be where I am today if I hadn’t jumped off a cliff and signed up to become a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant 8 years ago. Over the course of a five-year period of active participation and training, a whole new world opened up to me and I’m not just talking about what lipstick shade goes best with gray shoes.
You wonder what writing has to do with skin care and color cosmetics? Not much. But here’s a list of the transferable skills I picked up: money management, time management, goal setting, prioritizing, how to make a sale, how to close a sale, positive self-talk, leadership, vision casting. I could go on and on.

Today I wanted to expand on three areas that I think are of particular importance to a healthy and active writing career: setting priorities, setting goals, and making a plan of action.

Priorities

Mary Kay Ash’s credo for her company was always: God first, Family second and Career third.

1) If you are a God person, then you probably don’t need more of an explanation for why this is the number one priority. For those of us for whom God is not our go-to person, let me submit this: I think of this priority of a proscription to get right with oneself. You know the phrase “if Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”? It’s true. If you are not well, be it mentally, emotionally, spiritually or physically, you’ll have a more difficult time being true to priorities two and three. Think of this of being on good terms with your soul, the spark within you that makes you unique.

2) Family second –Your family, born or made, can help you stand or fall. They act as your barometer, letting you know if you’re doing alright or need to go back to priority one for a realignment. The best of these people create a positive feedback loop so the giving and receiving of love and support becomes amplified. A writer’s life can be a solitary one. It’s important to keep connected.

3) Career third – Third???!! Yup. Third. Not first or second, before you and your loved ones. And not, as the oath for new MK consultants says, “thirty-third, behind the laundry.” So, if writing is your career – or you want it to be your career – you need to treat it as such and bump it up the scale to number three.
Now, this isn’t to say one has no other commitments in life. We all have things pulling at our attention. But when you look through the lens of these priorities, you can cut through the muck a bit more easily. Ask yourself the next time you’re in doubt about where to spend your time: Does this fit in with my priorities? If not, you may need to say NO to whatever is trying to pull you away.

Goals

Before Mary Kay, goal setting was a complete mystery to me. Not sure I even knew what a goal truly is. Goals can be defined as: a quantifiable dream with a deadline. To put it in perspective:

Dream: I want get healthier and lose weight.
Goal: I want to lose 20 pounds by the end of the summer.

For a long time my dream was to finish a book. Last year I put that in the form of a goal: I want to finish Honor Bound so I can submit it to the Golden Heart contest.

After ten years of being in Romance Writers of America, I finally made a goal and I hit it.

The one other thing about goals? You need to write them down. There is something about getting them in black and white that makes you more accountable to the whole undertaking. And don’t be afraid to share you goal(s) with others – knowing they’ll be asking about your progress can be an effective motivating tool!

Planning

Plan your work and work your plan.

We all can feel overwhelmed at times with the amount of stuff that we need to get done. Where do I stick the JOB, the kids, the significant other, the writing, girls’ night out, the pool date, the quiet time??
Pull out your calendar. I suggest doing this for the next three months so it doesn’t feel like too much, but if you know dates further out that you’ll be busy go ahead on mark them down.

1) Ex out the time you know you are busy (day job, church, after school sports chauffeuring, etc). Ex out the birthdays, family dinners, weddings, vacations.

2) Look at the time left and plan the hours when you will write. Plan it. Put it down on paper (or Outlook, Gmail calendar, etc.).

3) Make sure you have ready access to your calendar. And check it daily. Daily. Dare I say it again? Daily. Because writing is what you’ve determined is one of your top three priorities. It may be that you can’t write every day. That is okay. But you can anticipate your next writing block and be ready to rumble when it come around. Making a time budget, like living within a money budget, can actually be freeing. Because you know where and how you’re spending your time, you’ll be able to take time “off” without feeling guilty.

Do you have any helpful tips about setting priorities and goals? Do you have a nifty way of tracking your time and being accountable? Can you buy into my list of priorities above or do you have a different take on it?

Keely