The Eyes Have It

I’ve always been fascinated by body language.  Like many writers, I like to observe others and see if I can gain insight into what they are thinking and feeling based on more than just what they say.  Over my next several blog posts, I will focus on some aspect of body language.

Body language is defined as the nonverbal ways we communicate with each other.  Some researchers state that it comprises between 50 to 70% of all communication.  So it’s important that writers understand what their characters are doing is at least as important as what they say.

It has been said that our eyes are the windows to our soul.  But there are other things that our eyes can show us as well.  Gaze, blinking and pupil size can also be very telling.

During a conversation, direct gaze can signal interest and attention.  However, if it becomes too prolonged and focused it can be threatening.  Think about the movie “The Terminator” when the Terminator stares at the policeman and finally says, “I’ll be back.”  The audience instinctively knows that this is not going to end well.  By contrast, looking away or breaking eye contact can mean that the person is uncomfortable, distracted or hiding their true feelings.  Every parent knows this look that indicates that his or her child has done something wrong.

Blinking is a natural reflex.  But doing it too much or too little can have meaning.  Rapid blinking can signal distress or discomfort.  Increase in the rate of blinking can mean someone is thinking more or feeling stressed. This can indicate dishonesty because the liar has to think more about what they are saying than if they simply tell the truth.  To combat this, the person may force their eyes open and appear to stare.  Decreased blinking can also increase the power of the stare and can portray either dominance or romantic intent.

Pupil size can also indicate emotions.  Cognitive effort can dilate pupils.  People are said to have “doe eyes” or “bedroom eyes” because dilated pupils can indicate sexual desire.  The dilation of pupils during sexual interest may indicate that the person is considering how to attract and sustain interest of the object of their desire.  Contracting of the pupil can signal a dislike of the other person, much like squinting.  Therefore, small pupils can also make someone look threatening or unpleasant.  This anger or negativity can cause what is sometimes known as “beady eyes” or “snake eyes.”

Using the proper dialogue tags or actions can increase the impact of your story.  If your story is in first person, then body language can become even more important.  Regardless of whatever narrative style a writer uses, use of body language techniques can deepen the story and add interesting layers to the plot. 

True Grit

This past weekend the Washington Romance Writers hosted Bob Mayer for a two-day workshop. The first day focused on career – what questions to ask and actions to take in order to get moving along your desired writing path. The second day focused on what questions you’d be wise to ask yourself before typing “Chapter One” at the top of the page.

My friend, author Maggie Toussaint, did a fantastic job of summarizing Mr. Mayer’s talk when he presented to First Coast Romance Writers. Her March 18 blog can be read here. Rather than try to improve on Maggie’s recap, I’ve decided to pull out one element of the weekend’s presentation that resonated the most for me.

Grit.

Grit, Mr. Mayer says, is the determining factor for success. Perseverance gets you farther than innate talent. Grit is the key ingredient that takes you from “I coulda been a contender” to “I did it.” Grit makes me think of the chapter in Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers where Gladwell talks about the 10,000 hour rule. To become an expert in your field, you need to put in a minimum of 10,000 hours of practice. That is dedication. It’s determination. It’s a whole lot of grit.

Mayer shared the story of a young, small town violinist who wangles an opportunity to play before a visiting maestro. After the young man performs, the maestro’s only words are, “no fire.” Crushed, the budding violinist puts down his instrument, never to play again. Years later the maestro returns to town and the man reminds the master of his pronouncement. The maestro shrugs and says, “I always say ‘no fire.’” The lesson, of course, is that the ones with enough grit will double down and try harder while the ones who lack that essential element will accept the judgment of others and quit.

I’ve trained for and completed two marathons and lived through a major kitchen renovation. I know I have perseverance and determination. I’ve got grit. But I’ve never brought my grit to bear upon my writing career – and it’s high time I did. I’ve got goals I want to accomplish. I’d like to move into the realm of “I did it” – or more rightly – “I’m doing it.” No more contending. It’s time to show up, put the hours in, keep an eye on the prize and get to work.

How about you – do you have the grit to go after your writing dreams? What does grit look like for you? 

Opinions Are Just That

One day, my child came home from school upset that another child had called her a name. After she told me what happened, I told her that just because another person said something doesn’t make it so.

“But she said it.”

“What if I said elephants can fly,” I answered. “Does that make it true?”

Recently, I entered a Romance Writer’s of America (RWA) chapter contest. I won’t say which one but it’s not one I belong to. Of the four critiques, three of them were encouraging and contained constructive criticisms—helpful and professional. One was not. This critique was insulting, demeaning and, in some places, contradictory and rambling. After I read it, I moped about a bit, emailed the Rockville 8, told my husband, and then moped a little more.

Then our family went to the Bahamas. Amidst the beautiful surroundings, the steel drums and the Kahlua coladas, I gained some perspective. I remembered that just because someone said it doesn’t make it true.

Ahhhh...don’t you love when your own advice comes back to you?

In other aspects of my life, I usually see that cruelty can stem from insecurity or having a bad day. But, because writing is so personal, so much a part of you, it’s harder to brush it off.

Three people encouraged me and liked the story. One did not. The one that was insulting was where I focused all of my energy. I realized that this one person’s opinion doesn’t define me. I define myself.

I’ve re-read each judge’s critique, even the unprofessional one. I’ve taken the good points from the nasty critique and ignored the catty and insulting remarks.

I decide which comments I should use and which ones aren’t valid. I decide what I want to do and how I want to do it.

I decide if I’m a writer.

What things inspire you? What have you learned from a harsh review? Do you think it’s healthier to ignore it?