Swimming the Riptide: How to Write Through Crisis

Whether we’ve ever experienced a riptide current or not, we all understand how to recognize the deadly undertow and, in theory, how to get ourselves out of it. Don’t panic. Keep your eye on shore and swim parallel to the beach. If you can do this, you’ll end up slightly off course, tired, shaken, but safe.

Life is messy. Crises will hit throughout your writing career. Knowing how to swim the riptide of crisis is crucial to your survival as a writer. Here are a few tips I’ve learned about swimming the riptide.

1.) Learn to identify when you’re in crisis. A strong undertow can be deadly, pulling you off course and out to sea. Know the signs. Be able to recognize when you’re in trouble. Self-awareness is half the battle. If you’re aware of your circumstances and your surroundings and your responses, you can face anything. It doesn’t matter what form your crisis takes--health issues, death in the family, divorce, unemployment, parenting problems--you’ll find yourself pulled off course. You’ll question what really matters and why it’s important to continue to write. Only you can answer these questions. But, if you understand how you react to crisis--whether you get depressed, angry, anxious, or deny it exists--then you can head yourself off at the pass and be intentional about getting out of the riptide.

2.) Have a plan. Even if your plan has never been tested, have one. We all have a riptide contingency plan. Most of us have never felt the scary tug of the undertow, and yet we all know how to get free if necessary. Once you’ve identified you’re in crisis, come up with a plan to move through it. Your plan doesn’t need to be elaborate. Keep your eye on your goal--the shore. But be prepared to move parallel to that goal for a while. You’re not really losing ground. You’re saving your life. One day at a time. One stroke at a time. One word at a time. You can do this.

3.) Relax. Don’t panic. The worst thing you can do when caught in a riptide is to panic. Don’t do it. You’ll tire yourself out and end up going under. Don’t expend excess energy or resources before it’s required. Preserve your strength. Stay afloat. Take care of you. A riptide plays itself out. What feels strong enough to sweep you out to sea today, will dissipate over a matter of minutes, days, weeks, or what may seem like years. Figure out what you need to stay afloat and make it happen. Read a good book. Take a day to totally immerse yourself in your characters’ problems instead of your own. Go to a movie with friends. Laugh. Light a scented candle. Play your favorite jazz collection. Remember what brings you joy. Breathe.

4.) Swim or float with purpose. Unfortunately, treading water isn’t an option when you’re in a riptide. You need to move forward to survive. You can’t roll over in the dead man's float and pretend your crisis doesn’t exist. If you do, you’ll lose everything important to you. You have to do the hard work of swimming or floating with purpose. Even if you’re on your back floating because you don’t have the energy to swim, you still need to kick, to keep your eye on shore, and to move in the right direction.

5.) Take the lifeline if it’s offered. If you have friends or teachers along the way who swim out to help you while you’re caught in the riptide, take the help they offer. Their burst of energy might help you kick free. The lifeline they offer might tug you out of the middle of the strong current. And while your friends may not be able to pull you out of the riptide entirely, they can lend you support, coach you, help you see your way clear. They’re an invaluable resource.

Swimming the riptide can make you stronger. Once you break free, you’ll come ashore feeling exhausted, beaten up, scared, and shaken. However, you’ll feel strangely stronger, too, because you know you’re a fighter and a survivor. You came out on the otherside of your crisis. It didn’t sweep you out to sea. It didn’t overwhelm you and take you under. And everything you learned in that journey, in that struggle with the riptide, you’ll now pour into your writing. You’re better for it. Your writing is better for it.

Grandmother Spider

My friend--and author extraordinaire--Eileen Charbonneau does these great readings using stones and crystals. Some of the stones are marked with glyphs, and she interprets them depending on where they fall on the table. Eileen has done several readings for me over the years, but I learned right away to look for the Grandmother Spider stone, because it represents the storyteller.

I've been writing for years and years. First short stories, then books. But I have yet to publish. So every time Eileen does a reading for me, and that Grandmother Spider stone shows up in an auspicious spot, it feels like validation. See? I am a storyteller.

Hey! The road to publication is long and the rejections and setbacks are many. I need all the validation I can get!

Since my last blog for the R8, there have been two big changes in my life. And when I say big, I mean ENORMAL.

1) In June I signed with an agent. She loves my work--talk about validation--but more on that later.

And 2) on Aug 4th I became a grandmother.  I am, right now, even as I type, happily ensconced in Oregon, visiting my new grandbaby.

It's been a long time since the days when my babies were small. I'm amazed by how much I forgot. For instance, I remember quite clearly how precious new babies are, how time consuming, and how fiercely protective they make you feel. No wonder so many people refer to the books they write as their "babies."

But I completely forgot how easy it is to lose yourself in them. The whole world right now revolves around this baby girl. Feeding, bathing, changing, cuddling, worrying. It's all about her. And it's so easy. In fact, it's impossible to think about anything but her.

That's where the similarity between babies and books usually ends. People often refer to the books they write as their babies, but they very rarely treat them that way.

So yeah. Back to that agent. Did I mention I got an agent? I did! So now I have two people devoted to selling my work. And one of them actually knows what she's doing.

The only thing I know how to do is write my books. And that's what I was doing--until this amazing grandbaby arrived. But I head back to Maryland on Thursday, and when I do, I'm going to treat my work in progress like a new baby. I'm going to lose myself in it. Let the whole world revolve around it. Feed it and cuddle it and worry about it and if I'm very lucky, it'll become impossible to think about anything else.

Like whether or not the editor at Penguin has read my book yet.  Or the editor at Balzer & Bray.

Or how much I miss this baby . . .

Photo: Personal photo, taken by the blogger

Another Perpective of RWA Conference

Let me start with full disclosure. I am the president of Romance Writers of America (RWA). Two weeks ago, RWA's 30th anniversary culminated with its Annual Conference and celebration in Orlando, Florida. Since then, many blogs have reflected the attendees' experiences --writers, bloggers, librarians, editors with networking, attending workshops, reunitng with friends, going to agent/editor appointments.

I will share the unique conference perspective as president of this great group of romance writers.

Friday, July 23

Arrived at World Dolphin Resort with my son. The sales rep literally whisks us away. I felt as if I was a celebrity making a mad dash from the paparazzi - only there weren't any. We head up to the 20th floor and straight to the presidential suite. The suite is huge - two floors - 3 bedrooms. But I had family and non-RWA friends coming in so it wasn't empty. I deliberately filled the space with family and friends to give me that oasis from the hustle and bustle of the conference. Then the luggage arrived, along with the rest of my suite mates. Before long the suite was buzzing with the activity of three adults and three teens.

Met with the executive director. Got a quick report on conference, along with any updates.

Saturday, July 24

I've unpacked the suitcases so I can feel relaxed, as if I was at home. Luckily my brother had a car so I went offsite to eat and also to buy food items for the suite. I have to go clothes shopping. I spent my last few days at home before heading to conference shopping for my daughter who was going on a three-week camp in NYC. Since I knew Orlando had a couple big malls and tons of outlet stores, I wasn't worried about finding clothes. Chico's and Macy's came to the rescue. But I didn't have anything for the awards ceremony and I was exhausted, especially after the ton of makeup I bought from the MAC store.

Sunday and Monday, July 25 and 26

Board meeting from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. And we used almost every minute of that time each day.

Tuesday, July 27

My birthday. But I have to go shopping for that Saturday outfit and wine for a couple receptions that I'm hosting.

Wednesday, July 28

Working on intro for Nora Roberts. Want to make it special and personal, rather than reading off all her accomplishments. By 1 p.m., people are already lining up for the literacy signing with over 500 authors for an event that won't start until 5:30 p.m. Later that evening, a few of my buddies are coming over so I had to head out once again to pick up my food orders. By the time I return, the signing is underway. I head out to the first timers orientation. Pleasantly surprised by the amount of first timers in the room. Standing room only. I welcome them and then head back to my suite to greet my guests.

Thursday, July 29

Headed to a breakfast meeting with publishers and an RWA grant recipient who is working on a romance-related documentary. I have to cut them short and head to the Annual General Meeting. After the AGM, I head to my suite. Now the nerves which have been increasing at each official activity are now in full blown flutter mode. After all, it was time to make the introduction of the keynote speaker -- Nora Roberts. Nora didn't make me nervous. It was the 2,100 lunch attendees, the bright lights on stage, and the oversized screens that had me feeling nauseous.

Headed to the suite to slap on the MAC make-up. I keep an eye on the time, knowing that I had no desire to eat before the introduction. About 10-15 mins before I would have to go onstage, I head down to the lunch from my suite. And then it was time to get on the stage. I prayed with every step that I would stay upright on my new wedge heels. I prayed that my feet would not trip on the steps onto the stage. I look out to the crowd and can see nothing. That doesn't relax me because I was calling out names for people to stand and be recognized. But in the darkness, I couldn't tell if they were standing or what side of the room they were on.

Finally I read my intro for Nora. All is going well. A friend who kept me company while I wrote the introduction joked about me ending the intro with "my friend Nora." Although I'm not a stranger to Nora, I'm certainly not a bud. I'm more like the farthest outer ring of Saturn. Tongue in cheek, I went with the dare and said my BFF Nora Roberts. Lightening didn't zap my arse. Nora was still smiling. All was well.

Hosted two receptions. By the end of the night, exhausted, but pleased with the outcome of the receptions.

Friday, July 30

Have administrative duties to complete. Then, working on introduction for Jayne Anne Krentz. Unlike Nora where there has been interaction, I don't know Jayne Anne. However, I still want her introduction to be special. I concentrated on what she means to the genre and industry, with the result being that she is an icon.

By now, I'm beginning to breathe normally. I've been checking off all my presidential duties. Unfortunately I'm not making it to any workshops because my nerves are too shaky for me to sit through a workshop. I'm sure that I wouldn't hear anything the person said or be able to concentrate on the subject matter.

I attend the Golden Heart/RITA finalists reception. This is a fun event to celebrate with all the finalists before the ceremony. This year is especially fun because I personally knew three of the finalists: Lena Diaz - Secretary of First Coast Romance Writers (my home away from home chapter), Jane Sevier - we go way back - I can picture sitting with her at a workshop at one of Washington Romance Writers retreat many moons ago, and Keely Thrall - President of WRW, critique mate, and bud.

Later, I head to the suite and welcome the reprieve from the conference bustle to hang out with family and friends.

This night is also my trek to the Harlequin party. This event turned into a great stress reliever as I danced to 70s, 80s, 90s, and current hits. The DJ is on his third year with Harlequin's party and he's a hit!

Saturday, July 31

This is a busy day, especially since I slept in because my body was trying to recover after the Harlequin party. I had the Publishers Summit to host in the suite. This event went well and immediately after I had to head to the awards rehearsal. Another moment for me to project what I would look like on stage and if I could read the teleprompter correctly.

The time came for the awards dinner. Again, I chose to skip the meal. Eating before a nerve-wracking task is not wise. Finally I come down from the suite and took my place. Because time doesn't stand still, eventually it was my turn to take the stage. At the end, when I joined emcee Sabrina Jeffries and Nora Roberts Lifetime Achievement winner Debbie Macomber on stage to close the awards and mention NY's conference next year, I was a happy camper.

Although I didn't have the normal attendee experience, I still had my share of enjoyment from the enthusiasm of the members.

I look forward to next year when I will be simply a general member attending the NY conference.

Photos: personal photos, belonging to the blogger

Good Luck

We're heading over to the awards dinner. Good luck to Keely from the Rockville 8!!

Friday Night Lights in Orlando

Great time here at RWA nationals in Disney. Fireworks every night at nine o'clock on the dot. We can see them from our hotel room in the Dolphin. Yes, the fireworks are at Epcot, not in the bar.


I've met some wonderful people in the lobby of the hotel. My roommate and I often spend our extra time hanging out in the lobby chatting with folks. I love romance writers. We speak the same language and it doesn't matter if I never knew you before today, I'm the same species so I totally get you.

The keynote lunch speech today was given by Jayne Ann Krentz. She encouraged writers to identify your core story, know your market, and understand the importance of fictional landscapes to your readers. She talked to us about her career ups and downs over the years. I enjoyed hearing her speak. Not quite as much as I enjoyed listening to Lee Child speak yesterday, but that could be because I'm a sucker for a wonderful British accent. Now I'll have to read the Jack Reacher series.

I went to hear Linda Howard give her swan song on 12 Steps to Intimacy. It was awesome. She's retiring from speaking. I'd seen the list of her twelve steps before, but I really enjoyed her presentation. The delivery was flawless and funny. Definitely one you don't want to miss on the recordings folks.

Cherry Adair's workshop on Creating a Career Plan That Works was excellent. One of the best tips I got from her class was to identify your dream publishing house. Then find their debut authors and read their books. Ask yourself why they might have been published. It's a good way to begin to find that elusive quality editors are looking for in new authors and their work.

Also loved Suz Brockmann and Sarah Frantz's chat on Theme. Sarah is an academic and president of the International Association of Popular Romance Studies. She gave the literary critic's view of Brockmann's themes and Suz then revealed the theme she'd intended for each book. An interesting exercise. Brockmann's point was if you know your themes, or the themes you tap into in your stories, you can make them work for you to create a cohesive three-dimensional story.

I pitched to Pamela Ahearn and received a request for the first seventy-five pages of The Meggido Mark. Yay! Another pitch tomorrow morning to Emmanualle Alsphaugh (soon to be Morgan again). Wish me luck. I also won a critique by Holly Root for my query and first ten pages at the Pro Retreat.

Tonight the publishing houses throw their gala events. My roommate went to the Harlequin party and I'm sure many of the Rockville8 are off at the St. Martin's party since Jen Enderlin was gracious enough to invite all WRW members to the party this year. I, however, am relaxing in my room tonight. Since, yes, I'm the introvert whose tank was on empty by five o'clock today. I did enjoy a bit of fresh air first. I walked the Disney boardwalk around the lake and then got on the water taxi for the rountrip ride from the Swan to Epcot and back. It was nice to feel the breeze and get the fresh air and exercise after remaining indoors most of the week.

I promise I'll take my camera out of the room tomorrow to snap a few photos. There are more workshops tomorrow and the Golden Heart and Rita dinner and awards festivities tomorrow night. It's been a great week. Catch you all soon!

Orlando Day Two-Three-Four...???

Just past 7:00am on the Friday of conference. Still jumping with energy...who knows how long it will last. Mx, Lisa and I are having a fit of the morning giggles. It's nice to be with friends. We're getting ready for breakfast and SEP (Susan Elizabeth Phillips) talking about those six magic words (Keep the reader in the story).

Yesterday - The Golden Network reception in the evening - soooo much fun to see so many Unsinkables (this year's Golden Heart class name). Very inspiring to see so many writers "booted out" of the Network after having sold a book in the last year.

Before that...WRW party at the Bluezoo during the cocktail hour. Two hour-hour? $15 champagne. Not a cheap drink! Tasty though, so what the heck. Thanks to Mary Blayney and her assistant in setting it up and thanks to all our chapter friends for coming to hang out and catch up! Bluezoo is CSI: Miami chic - lots of water, hard angles and cool colors.

Suz Brockmann and Lee Child - must get a copy of one of his books - Reacher sounds like a yummy hero to read...plus Child has a greaaatttt voice. So not a problem to listen to him for an hour...

Nora's lunchtime speech. Inspiring? Naturally. Funny and Poignant? In the bag. She added a new phrase to my vernacular: Eat the Hard. As my dad said: not sure what it means but I so get it. I want to make a pin out of it and hand it to everyone. As in Romance Jeopardy - the publishing world is a game that is Not Fair. The writers who rise to the top Eat the Hard for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Pitching today and in the afternoon there is the RITA and Golden Heart reception and after that is the St. Martin's party. No rest for the wicked...

Live From Orlando

Yesterday, I arrived to a whirlwind of activities. First, I registered and received a canvas tote filled with swag. Next, I attended the "Readers for Life" Literacy Autographing. It was well attended by many authors in residence including Sherrilyn Kenyon, Nora Roberts, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Jayne Ann Krentz, Courtney Milan, and Roxanne St. Clair. Everyone met with their favorite authors and had a great time.

Today's Keynote Speaker for the luncheon, celebrating 30 years of the Romance Writers of America, was the witty and fabulous Nora Roberts. She told everyone that writing was hard but that was what made it special. We think she's special as well.

Nearly all of the Rockville 8 joined me at the Washington Romance Writers (WRW) reception at Todd English's Bluezoo. (We missed you, Nicole!) In addition, I also saw Golden Heart Finalist Jane Sevier. This evening, both Jane and our very own Keely Thrall are attending a reception for the Golden Heart Finalists. Good luck to both of them!