Sunday, August 24, 2014

Romance Novels: Why I’m Still Standing

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Life hit me pretty hard in the month of August. Just this past week, I sent my oldest off to college (yes, my first to fly the nest). If that isn't enough to send a mom into a tailspin, then having to do it while holding down a demanding day job that sucks more and more family/personal/writing time would certainly push most people over the edge.

Yes, the day job went from zero to eighty in the month of August. Perfect timing, right? Not so much. By Thursday of this past week, I was at the end of my rope--emotional from leaving the kiddo 2oo miles away, I returned to a job that keeps changing from hour-to-hour. That day, I was pulled off one project to start another. Add to that a vehicle breakdown and another personal family crisis that blew up, and I was holding on to the knot on the end of that rope and felt myself slipping. 
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What did I do? When the dust settled and I got back home and crawled into bed, I did as any good romance reader-writer would do, I pulled out my Kindle and I fell into a romance novel.

The only thing that has kept me sane this month has been my love of reading romance novels. Seriously. It’s why I started reading romance in the first place. When my life is crap, I can escape into someone else’s world. I can push aside everything that’s wrong for just a little while and get a break from the emotions, the stress, the demands that seem to claw at me 24/7. Yeah, I’ve got one of those minds that won’t shut off. I don’t find oblivion in a bottle, I find it in a book.

What I’ve learned is when I hit that wall, or I’m hanging on by just a thread, when my life rockets to out-of-control, I need to take a breather, pull out my Kindle, and read a romance. Only by submersing myself in story--in a romance novel, where a hero and a heroine have problems that they overcome to find their happily-ever-after--can I find rest. Some might say, oh, well, you’re burying your head in the sand. Ignoring your problems. No. I’m finding a spot of peace in a chaotic world that at that moment I can’t handle. It’s my only harbor some days. And I clutch it tightly with both hands. Yes, I’m a romantic. I’m in love with falling in love. I’m an optimist. Life can suck that all out of you if you let it.

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So when life gets me down and pushes me too hard, I turn to my safe harbor, my Zen place, and I read a romance. I know I’m not the only one who does this. I hear it again and again from women who read romance. How they find respite from the hardships of their lives when they read romance novels. I applaud them and I say hell, yeah, go for it. I know, firsthand, how hard life can be and how often I can attribute my ability to push through a tough situation or to remain standing in the midst of a crisis to some great romance novel that has swept me away for an hour or two and given me a break from my own life.

And this is also why I write romance novels. There are women out there just like me who need to find that next demilitarized zone so that they can handle whatever it is that life is throwing at them. There is peace from the chaos. Grab it with both hands--and if it comes through your Kindle by way of your favorite romance author--even better. At the end of the day, all that’s important is that you maintain your sanity and you’re still standing. If you’re still standing when the dust settles, you are stronger than your problems. Plus, when you give your brain a break, you can usually figure out a solution to overcome the slings and arrows of life.
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So, go, find your Zen place today. Pick up a book. Be good to yourself. I’m here cheering you on.


I’d love to hear from you if you've ever experienced the saving grace of reading in times of trouble. We all like to know we’re not alone. ;0) And that’s what romance does for us, it helps us build community. So give me a shout out and comment if you've been there.

12 comments:

  1. Thanks for taking on this subject! I've been discussing it a lot recently. I call those books "comfort reads" -- books that make me feel better about life, love and people.

    I expect that it's why I write romance too, because I want to believe in a kinder, more gentle world where love, whether it be in a family or between two individuals, makes all things bearable.

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  2. Agreed, Mary. They are comfort reads, and they do make me feel better so that I can cope with life.

    Thanks for taking the time to comment. And, I do believe that love makes all things bearable ... yes, it's the romantic in me, I know.

    And, I'm so glad you do write romance & about love within family! ;0)

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  3. Well said! One among so many reasons that reading is one of life's most wonderful gifts!

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  4. Yes, yes, YES! (I'll have what she's having)

    I could not agree more avidly, Mac. A good book can heal what ails you. Or at least get you into the right head space so you can open yourself up to the healing. While I vastly prefer my escape hatch to be a romance, my other go-to genres will work too - because there IS comfort in knowing what to expect within the bounds of a romance/mystery/fantasy,even when the author surprises and delights within the the frame of tropes. Sometimes I turn to oft-read faves, sometimes to the latest release by an auto-buy writer. But, yeah, when life gives me lemons...my lemony sustenance of choice is a good book.

    Hooray on launching your chick!!

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  5. Hugs to you, Mac, as you take on life's highs and lows this month. And I couldn't agree with you more. Recharging our batteries isn't hiding. It's smart! And there's no better way to take a moment and take a breath than with a book.

    You know, not just reading but also writing really helped me when my husband was in Iraq. Why? Because I could make everything turn out all right, at least on paper.

    Sometimes, we do need to stand back and see it's always darkest before the dawn, but that dawn surely comes. We need to feel better so we can go on trying to see that truth. We need our books!

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  6. I loved your post. Like Nichole, I always read when I'm stressed because I like the good feeling of seeing someone overcome life's obstacles to find happiness. I also read to shut my mind off when something is worrying me, especially when I'm trying to sleep.

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  7. Marceline ~ You are so right! Reading is one of life's best gifts. ;0)

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  8. Keely ~ Yes, you're right. It's not just romance--although that's my genre of preference--that can rescue a desperate reader. Most genre fiction can do the same thing for us ... because we know what to expect when we go into it and, as Mary mentioned, genre fiction provides those comfort reads for us. I gravitate toward the love stories. But all can heal and refresh. Thanks for adding to the discussion. ;0)

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  9. Nic ~ Yes, I do find the same solace in writing. I'm able to push away my problems and bury myself in someone else's when I write. And I absolutely do get to control the outcome in those stories. It has been a lifesaver over the years.

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  10. I'm with you, Lisa. I'm the same way. Nothing better than a good story to help me get away from my own thoughts and worries!

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  11. What a great blog, Mackenzie. I have always cherished books and reading because they do what not even friends can do sometimes. Take me away from it all. Like King Arthur in CAMELOT said, "change me into a bird and let me fly away." Reading is that bird. Romance is my favorite, too, because it does give me the "comfort" I seek. I think that is why romance is so successful as a genre. Your blog was a "comfort" to me. Thank you.

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  12. Deborah ~ I just love that quote! How very appropriate. And, yes, some days we can use all the comfort we can get. Hugs!

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