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Photo: Emily Reed
delawareonline.com |
Lately, the Rockville 8 has been blogging about our life journeys. I’ve haven’t done a post relating to this theme mainly because I wasn’t sure what mine was. But, now I think I know. My journey is to move forward. To reinvent myself, or maybe just go with the flow of progress and growth that’s been interrupted while I addressed my health crises and had the five surgeries required to get back to…well, me. Now that I’m past the medical issues, I feel like a tidal wave has engulfed me. It’s as if I built a flimsy dam to hold life back until I could get back on my feet, and now it’s opened—rushing at me, carrying me downstream at a faster rate than I can sometimes manage.
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| Photo: dreamstime.com |
My current reinvention is taking a certification program for my job. It is intense—eight hours a day, five days a week, complete with tests and homework. The tests are hard. In the last class, half of the people failed the first exam. No one wants to go back to work and tell management they can’t pass the expensive class that the boss funded. Their stress only ramped up my stress.
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| Photo: dreamstime.com |
However, despite the difficulties, I’m discovering that I can do this. I’m working hard, a lot harder than working forty hours a week at my job. This requires evenings studying as well. I’ve had to miss social events that I would normally attend which makes me feel sad and isolated. But, it has forced me outside of myself, if that makes sense. It’s made me reach for something that I wasn’t physically strong enough to reach for a couple of years ago. It’s reminded me that I’m young and need to get back in the game.
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| Photo: dreamstime.com |
Change is difficult. Even good changes are stressful. I’m trying to look at this in the most positive light. Sometimes, when it’s late and I’m tired of studying, it’s not easy to stay positive. But I’m working on it. I’ve been through fourteen weeks of training since the middle of June and I am about to start two more weeks on Monday. I’m plowing through it. I’m surviving. Sometimes that’s all you can do.
