One Is Silver and the Other Gold

With the end of summer right around the corner, we in the Christoff household are making the most of the fleeting season. You can find us in the great outdoors nearly every weekend now. And if the evening is crisp and cool, you'll find us gathered around a campfire.

A Christoff Campfire

Do you remember that old campfire song? The one about friendship? You know the one I mean. It reminds us to "make new friends, but keep the old." Why? Because "one is silver and the other gold."

These words were never more true than this weekend when one of my oldest friends brought her family to my campfire circle. She and I were kids ourselves when we met at camp almost thirty years ago. But if you'd have seen us this weekend, you might've thought we were still kids with the way we joked and laughed.

Around my campfire this weekend, my friend reminded me of who I used to be--and who I still am. Seeing myself through my friend's eyes, I remembered my strengths. And I remembered those strengths had always been a part of me. Best of all, in the golden glow of the campfire, I remembered those strengths had been with me for so long, they probably weren't going to go anywhere without me.

When autumn comes and winter is finally here, and all the pressures of daily living put a damper on my spirits, I'll look back on those summer evenings, both recent and long ago, with my friend. I'll remember what it is to be a friend. And, thanks to my friend, I'll remember I can be myself.

As I look forward to the seasons to come, I hope I'll always make new friends. I hope I'll always keep the old. Because one is certainly silver, and the other is the truest gold.

Now it's your turn to talk to the Rockville 8. Do you have a friend who's as good as gold?  What does her friendship mean to you?

Thanksgiving Gifts in a Michael Hauge Onion Sauce

What, you ask, does Michael Hauge have to do with Thanksgiving?

Two weeks ago, Lisa posted here Michael's parting question from his seminar: "I would do anything to complete my goal. Just don't ask me to do ______, because that's just not me." He said our first answer would not be the real nut keeping us from our goal. Rather our first answers would be planted in our protective identities and it might take some digging to get to the essential root of what keeps us from accomplishing our goals. (Insert collective groan here)

As we prepare for the feast of Thanksgiving, I've been thinking about gratitude and what I'm thankful for. I've come to realize that there is room for identity and essence even here. My first answer when I ask, Keely, what are you thankful for this year? is pretty standard identity stuff: my job, my friends (you all rock!), my family.

These are all true, don't get me wrong. But they are also surface answers, protective answers, easy answers to share at the thanksgiving table before moving on to the main course.

So where does the essence come in? For me, it's when I peel back the layers of the onion by asking why.

Why am I thankful for my job? Beyond paying the bills, this job over the last nearly eight years has engaged my brain and my heart. It has challenged me, nurtured me, provided a safe space to grow and learn and grow some more.

Why am I thankful for my friends? Because when I had a really bad day last week, they rallied around me, offering support without telling me I was silly or lacking or to "just get over it."

Why am I thankful for my family? Because being in their space makes me feel - everything from grief to rejoicing to kooky humor to love. My family is present moment hijinks and long ago baggage and future hopes and dreams.

So there you have it. Thanksgiving gifts in a Michael Hauge onion sauce. As writers, that's what we're supposed to do, yes? Peel the layers of our characters' protective identity onion away until we reach their essential core? (yes, yes, this metaphor would be even better if onions actually had cores...maybe on the rewrite...)

What are you thankful for this season? What are your characters thankful for? Identity vs. essence: Is it either/or for you? An onion of many layers? Or do you make sense of it using some other construction or metaphor?